#together: A trip that taught me the lesson of life

If you are a regular reader you would know that there is a tradition in my family that once a year, no matter what everyone one of us meet up in a pre destined place. May it be our farmhouse or any holiday destination. We all cousins with their respective spouses, uncles aunts gather together and do all the catching up of the year gone by.

Last year on one such trip we went to Puri, Orissa. It’s always good to spend time with the family but the last year get together was something I will never forget.

We were all #together in my room of the resort playing cards. Everyone of us was in their cheery and excited self. Happiness showed in our eyes. We talked, played, gossiped then after a long card session we went to our respective rooms to get ready for the party that night, organised by the resort people.

While getting ready I realised, I had forgotten my makeup box and went to one of cousin’s room to borrow hers. The door was ajar and before I could knock it, I couldn’t help but overhear some of the conversation she and her husband were having.

Apparently their business had faced some major loss and both of them were extremely worried about it. Especially her. Her husband, lets call him J for now, was his optimistic self as always. He consoled didi by saying things won’t remain the same forever. And if they both worked hard, the problem will soon end before they even know it. He told her not to worry about it and that this trip was to enjoy and forget all the worries and that’s what they should do. They would return from this trip all refreshed and face their problems heads on. But before that it was very necessary to make the most out of this trip.

I returned to my room, without the makeup ofcorse. I thought here I was, getting panicked at every little problem of mine. Client making me do too many revisions…panick. Should I increase my rates per article??? Panick…
Am I wrong choosing freelance blogging as the career? Panick… Hell I even panicked when I couldn’t find my makeup box!!!

That day I realised there are so many problems in people’s life that makes ours seem negligible. I knew J would come out his trouble soon as he said because he is a very hard working man. What I really learnt that day is, only thing you can do when in trouble is face them. And when not, there is no use in worrying about it.

J unknowingly taught me the lesson of life. Stay optimistic and live in the present.

That night in the party we enjoyed a lot. We danced till late night and had a blast. Problems, worries and tensions were something that didn’t exist for us at that particular moment. Here is a picture of the party that night and people just see the happy faces!!
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If you are having problems with moving to another place, I say stay optimistic and just do it if you really want to. Housing will take care of other things. Be cause from what I know Housing also believes in optimism and the power of togetherness.

#StartaNewLife: My new life with freelance blogging

Change they say is the only thing permanent in life. Yet we are afraid of the mere thought of it. We want a basic mundane routine and somehow feel safe and secured in the bubble we have created around us. We get attached to that routine of ours so deeply that we can’t imagine bringing any change to it.

It happens to many of us. For me, my life changed when I was married. Mine was an arranged marriage. My husband is a well established businessman. A business which I had no interest in. The place we live in is a small town with no job offers according to my profile.

Initially I was confused and not sure of what to do about my career. No one could understand why I wasn’t interested in joining the business. Well I didn’t want to work just coz the sake of it. I wanted to do something I really enjoyed. And that’s when I decided to become a freelance blogger.

In today’s competitive world, where people only dreamt of the kind of business opportunities that lay in front of me, I not only rejected them but chose a career which wasn’t even considered a full fledged career by many.

My decision was a major change to what people were accustomed to. No one approved of it. There were times when even I doubted myself. But after many such low moments and almost a year later, my hard work along with a lot of patience and perseverance, the results began to show.

No not that the business magically took off and I lived the life of my dreams. No but actually I was able to pay the bills from the money I earned from freelance writing.

The fact that I was able to contribute my part to the house gave me immense pleasure.

I started loving each part if it. From developing ideas to write about, to pitching them to prospective clients, the long wait before their reply, I loved everything about freelance writing.

Today when I look back about my career choices, I do not regret a single thing about it. May be I could have earned a lot more in a regular 9-5 job but would I have been equally satisfied? I don’t think so. It felt as if I started a new life with freelance blogging.

I am proud that my creativity has not lost in the rat race. I am proud that I was able to believe in myself to bring about such a major change in my life.

Today, I can’t say I am completely independent financially but I know I will reach there. I am on the right path and that is what matters the most. Not the resources I have, or the skills I can hone, but the choices I make. Choices, that bring positive changes in life.

If you too want to give your life a better turn of events, bring about changes for good, just believe in yourself. And if  your change is as bold as to move to another place let Housing guide you.

 

Me, my niece and the bedtime rituals…

Babies are those small bundles of joy that spread happiness with their smiles. With them around everyone is either in their playful moods or just happy. You forget all your worries at just the sight of your baby.

My regular readers would know that I have a deep attachment with my niece.

She was this cute small baby who had just begun to crawl when I was in school. As soon as I would reach home, I would throw my bag away and take her in my arms and play with her for some time before even changing and having my lunch.
Everyone in the family was in the same habit. As if she was the stress buster and mood lifter of our house.

I vividly remember every part of her childhood. And the part that I enjoyed a lot was the bedtime. My bhabhi ( sis in law) would cleanse her with warm water, change her diapers, feed her and then would tell her stories of fairies, Santa Claus and angels. It was as if I was in a different world of magic.

I once asked my bhabhi why she would do this every night before she sleeps. It’s not that she really understood the stories.

She said like us, it is very important for babies to have a good night’s sleep. If they don’t get a sound sleep they wake up irritated next day which affects their health.

“She may not understand the stories but it has a calming effect on her. She has gotten used to the sound of my voice when I tell those stories. She relates that sound with sleep.”

“And not just that. It is also very important that babies don’t wet themselves in their sleep. If they do, they is high chance they catch cold if they aren’t changed immediately. Also this disturbs their sleep. They wake up crying which is not good for their health either.”

“So that’s why the diaper change every night right?”

“Right. But the diaper should have a good absorbency and should be dry from inside as well. Some diapers are dry from the outside but you find the baby wet from inside which causes rashes to their soft skin.”

And that is why I remember why she was so particular about the brand of the diapers she bought. It was pampers always.

Throughout her childhood I saw the same pampers packets in her bedside drawer. Just the size changed over the months but the label remained same.

It became a routine for me now. To go her room every night, sometimes I helped bhabhi in cleansing the baby, I would then drift off to my fairyland with her stories only to find out a happy me tucked in the bed beside my niece.

These bedtime rituals have made me and my niece’s bond so strong that even today when I visit them she would ask me to tell her stories of fairies and would sleep with me that night.

This post has been written for Bedtime rituals happy hours contest sponsored by pampers in association with indiblogger.

Four surprises for four years of togetherness…

My husband is a very busy man. Being a businessman is not all roses as it seems from a distance. Busy schedules, stressful days and sometimes no weekends.. Yes, that’s the life of a business owner.

But Even in his this hectic schedule, my husband always magically finds time for me, have celebrated every occasion with me and went out on late night long drives and what not.. He has never missed a single chance of letting me feel loved and special..

So this valentine’s day I have decided to make this day so special for him that he will remember it and cherish it for his lifetime..
Afterall men deserve some pampering as much as we women do…Don’t they?

So when I was given a chance thanks to Baggout, to write about my dream valentine day and that too with me blessed with some Super Powers!!! I pounced on this opportunity right away. Thats what I would really need, Super Powers… to make a super special day for him. Else the day would go by and he would continue giving orders, discussing rates and shouting in the phone as he always does.

Using my super powers I would solve all his business related issues for the day and have him and his cellphone free.
Now that he would be with me with an undivided attention, I am all set to sweep him off the floor and magically teleport him to a place away from the city’s hustle bustle right in the lap of the nature.
Yes, Panchmarhi it is for us. The perfect place for us. Not too far away but far enough from the stress and pace of the city.

I would love to watch him wake up in a comfy bed of one of the resorts of Panchmarhi to the smiling sun and chirping birds.. A perfect start to a very romantic day…
I have decided to give him four gifts throughout the day celebrating the four years of our love and togetherness.

To the start the day, I would order room service and serve him breakfast at bed myself..
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Ofcourse with a gift nicely wrapped and placed on the breakfast tray along with the food.
I could totally imagine the look on his face by now.. Confused, happy and at peace.. Oh How I would love to watch it in real. After a sumptuous breakfast at bed we would head on to the swimming pool to chill.

It’s kind of an unwritten rule for me and my husband that no holiday is ever complete without a dive in the pool. That’s the best place for us. He teaches me some of his strokes and I love it.

After a refreshing swimming session I would lead him to a spa treatment which I would have booked already. Nothing is more of a stress buster than a divine head and body massage. I hope this will relax and invigorate his body and mind.

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As we would enter our room after spa, he would be surprised by a gift again, waiting on the bed for him. It would be a pair of denims and a tshirt which I want him to wear that very day..

We would then head on to indulge in the splendours the place has to offer. From the scenic view of satpura ranges to buying souvenirs for our dear ones from the local market, the day would be spent with gazing at the nature’s work together, hand in hand walks and smiles and love galore..

In the evening I would take him to a cafe for a cup of coffee where the waiters would greet him personally and there would be a band ready to sing for us..20150208-163249.jpg
And there on the table, reserved for both of us lies my third gift of the day. 

A Rado watch which I have been saving up for a year to gift my husband on this special day.

I would leave no stone upturned to make him feel as special as one could.

Afterall everything that he does for me, for the way he makes me feel when I am with him, the way he makes me forget everybody and everything but him, he truly deserves an evening of this kind.

“Ek shaam mere hubby ke naam”

By now we would be eager to return to our room and spend the night in each others’s arms. As we would enter our hotel room, a large picture collage of both of us would welcome us from the wall behind our bed.
20150208-160610.jpgMy fourth and the final gift of the day.

A proof that our love is eternal….
A reminder of the years spent well in love….
Special moments captured in a frame to cherish forever…
A perfect trip down the memory lane…

After discussing and reliving every moment showcased in the picture we would give in to the night with a smile on our faces. A smile that can only come when you know there will be someone to wake up with on your side every morning for the rest of your life.

Yes, that’s how I would love to spend my valentine’s day this year. A day of love where I can make my love feel special as he makes me feel every other day…

Ps: I haven’t disclosed my first and third gift of the day because they are really special and personal which I would want to share only with my love:)

This post has been written for Baggout’s blogging contest for Valentine’s Day. Baggout provides awesome deals on Flipkart, Myntra, Jabong, Snapdeal, Amazon and 100+ other online stores.

By- Sweety Pateliya

Darlings “Take Care”

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Once upon a time I,
used to be a famous dame,
Guys wanted to be with me,
Girls wanted to be me,
All because my skin was
as clear as porcelain.

Being stared at my flawless face
Was something I secretly loved,
The attention, the pamper, the love
That I got, said I was beyond the race.
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One day I woke up all rise and shine,
And went on to admire my beautiful face,
Noooooo…. I screamed, it can not be me,
But The pimple on my face just mocked at me.

Not even in my wildest imagination,
Had I thought, how a teeny weeny pimple
Can cause a hell lot of problems, everyday
Every second, a pimple is working
To feed on your reputation.

 

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“How can a pimple affect you?”

Asked my mom, worried.
“What real problems can it give at max
And I started counting my hardships…

 

Guys who once praised me,”20150129-213622.jpg
Looked at me with a shock at first,
Slowly they stopped even noticing me.

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I was just an ordinary girl now
Not the famous lass that I was,
I slowly was turning into a clam,
Scarves, hats or open bangs,
Just Didn’t add up to my glam.

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Makeup brushes and concealer,
Became my best friend, shrouded my
Originality under layers of makeup,
But even they defied me after a few hours,
Cracking open and revealing the bulge.

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I looked older
and sad,
Losing my confidence did not help,
The important meeting and presentations
were spent not thinking about my facts and figure,
But worrying about my pimply face.

Multani mitti, lemon, tulsi, Chandan
I tried all but in vain,
even the treatments that cost me a bomb,
Just couldn’t ease my pain.

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I want my fame back,Mom,

My face and confidence too,
And when she realised how her princess
Has been affected by a lowly pimple,
She gave me a face wash with natural ingredients

Said, it will help me in worst of times.

It’s been a year and I have never had
a pimple or any skin problem so far,

The goodness of neem has finally worked,
finally I have No Pimple No Marks!!!

Thank you Garnier, thanks a ton,
For giving back my beauty, my fame,

All you beautiful people out there,
If you ever have a problem like mine,
Don’t panic dont cry and no don’t you whine,

Do what Garnier tells you to do
Darlings just “Take care”

Disclaimer: All the pictures used have been searched from the Internet and edited by me.

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The great Indian litterbug.

Chewing the tobacco is my favourite pass time,
Rubbing it with some chuna, gives me a high,
Rub rub and clap, toss into the mouth,
Find the nearest wall to spray,
Paint it red and see it sparkle.

I am the great Indian Litterbug
I love all the muck.

Yahan Peshaab karna mana hai they write,
To kahan karna I ask with pride,
Nature’s call waits for none,
I water the wall with good intention.
Me relieved, the wall warmed up.

I am the great Indian Litterbug
I love all the muck.

Oh that candy wrapper is sticky,
Throw away I say to my kid,
Dirty the roads, lanes and alleys
But remember, never mess your
House and hands, and out goes the
Sticky paper.

I am the great Indian Litterbug
I love all the muck.

I clean and sweep and dust my house,
Mop the floor and scrub the loo,
And I collect the waste and throw it out,
Where else can I find a place,
Heaped with plastic, peels and the scrapes?.

I am the great Indian Litterbug
I love all the muck.

Hello everybody. I am the great Indian litterbug. I am a very generous person by heart. So generous that if eat a banana and throw the peel on the road for a cattle to eat. After all they too need something to eat.

I believe in sharing and that is why I throw the garbage of my house on to my neighbour’s roof. After all sharing is caring.

I am an artist and love all things artistic. So whenever I see a bare sad wall I paint it red and boosts its spirit instantly. After who/what doesn’t like a pop of colour? And I am so good at it that I can do it with just my mouth.
Sometimes on a cold chilly night or even day, when I see a wall shivering with cold I do not hesitate to warm it up. Yes, I water it with my warmth.

Not only this. I love children and how they used to make paper boats and play in the rains. Nowadays I do not see that happening. So whenever I get the chance I spit on the roads forminfpg small puddles of after in the potholes of indian roads. Now the children can easily play with their paper boast in my pools.

Sometimes when I go to someone’s place and their furniture is too blah! I pick my nose and add my jewels on to the sofa. Instantly its all shiny and blingy.

See, I am such a giving person. And a kind hearted one at that. If you ever want anything just come to me. I am sure you will never go empty handed. Because you see,
I am the great indian litterbug.
And I love all the muck.

A journey from a compromise to choices

I have always been a feminist even before feminism was in vogue if you know what I mean. And by a feminist I do not mean men hater or only a woman supporting kind of person. No. I believe in equality of both sexes.

This is me:

Woman,

Someone who stands true to her beliefs. Who doesn’t live by the rules made by the society.

But even I have faced the consequences of the stereotypes we have for women today.
Even I have faced people’s doubts on my abilities just because I was the so-called fairer sex. There have been times where I had to choose one thing OR the other. Career OR family, good daughter-in-law OR a writer.

This is my story of some compromises that I made (which eventually made me a stronger woman) and choices that changed my and someone else’s life for good.

~

Like every other students, I too joined my engineering college with a dream of being a successful engineer one day. I was good at studies and passed with fairly good marks. I also bagged a job through our campus placement to a multinational company.

Everything was going according to the plan and I couldn’t be more happy with the way my life had turned out. But they say every light of the day has to see the darkness of night.

~

It was the year 2008. The year that changed my life. A global recession hit the economy hard and soon IT companies were downsizing their staff. Many people went jobless. But my future company was considerate enough to not only keep their present staff but also make place for their newly recruited trainees. However they reduced the salary package considerably.

Money they say is the root of all evil. It changed my fairytale life to a unplseant reality.
My big rich conservative joint family didn’t find it good enough for her daughter to work for someone else for an amount much less than they give to their employees.

The decision would have been different of corse if I was a boy.
According to my family I need not work because I had everything one could ever want in life. Money, Power, Looks.
They refused me to accept the job and instead proffered to join the family business which I had no interest in. I didn’t know a thing about construction and I was an electronics engineer. Not a civil one. I wanted to do something in my field.

I protested, argued, cried but in vain. They would blackmail me.

“You either become a good daughter by doing as we say OR take up the job and prove we are nothing to you.”
“What will you do after marriage? Do you want to be a good wife and a homemaker OR a working women who has to struggle for a work life balance all her life.”

I wanted to scream that I can handle both. That its high time these scathing labels for women be changed. I wanted to tell them:

‘I can be a good homemaker AND a good working women. That I can be a good daughter AND a professional.’

I was the so-called “bade baap ki bigdi beti“. It was the first time I had gotten a no for something I wanted. I just couldn’t cope up with the refusal. Instead of talking to them and making them understand, I just got angry and started keeping to myself. I was hurt but couldn’t hurt my family.

That was the only point in my life where my decision was not what I wanted for me. I had failed my own values. I am a person of strong opinions and stand up to my beliefs no matter what.
So it affected me to such an extent that I went into depression.

It was then when I took up writing. It kind of liberated me when my feelings took form of words and smiled back at me from the pages of my diary.
Short articles and poetry were my new-found passion and I forgot everything and immersed myself in it.

Slowly I realised I was actually loving it!
It helped me face the reality. I picked up the broken pieces of my dreams and moulded them into a completely new one. To be a successful Writer.

Becoming financially independent was still my agenda and writing came to me like a ray of hope in a dark dungeon. If I couldn’t go to office, I brought office to home. I started earning through freelance writing and was happy about it.

~

I got married in the year 2011. When I came to my new family, I saw my history repeating itself. This time with my husband’s sister. She had completed her engineering and wanted to go to Pune for a job. My in-laws wouldn’t allow her, as again her package was less.

Apparently girls of Gujarati families had to earn very high. Doesnt matter if you are just starting your career. That’s not important. It’s degrading for gujju parents if their daughter’s income is less than their expected standards. Which is usually more than 30,000 per month at the minimum. Either that or get married to a highly successful businessman.

So there was my sister-in-law facing the same problems that I had only a couple of years ago.

I was new to the family and was confused if I should involve myself in this matter or not.
I was advised by many not to because I was newly wed and should invest my time in making a good impression in front of my in-laws. Not counteract them. Friends and family said, I had to be a good daughter in law first.

But my conscience didn’t allow me to do that. I may have acted a bit immature when my career was at stake but I had learnt my lesson. I could not allow another girl, my husband’s sister for that matter compromise in her life just because she was a woman.

I stood firm against it. I sat her parents up and made them understand that their daughter wanted to carve her own path. May be she had everything in life but nothing of her own. She is a talented girl and should be allowed to make her own decisions.

They were not very sure about it but they couldn’t say no to their very new daughter in law.

That day I felt I had succeeded in life. There was this feeling of content and happiness that I wouldn’t have felt even if I had convinced my own parents for my job back then. You will know this feeling only when you do something for someone else or give a person exactly what he/she needs desperately at that very moment.

~

Today she is working in an IT company as a java developer in Pune. I have finally become independent financially through my freelance writing. Initially I had to struggle to find time to write amidst my responsibilities. (Working from home has its own pros and cons).

Of course the money is not huge but it brings me happiness and satisfaction.
My own personal cabin awaits me in my husband’s company but I am content with my iPad and bedroom cum office.

This is how I turned my OR to my and someone else’s AND.

Its high time people realised we women can no longer be labeled in one dimension.

We can be good daughters, daughters in law and good professionals.
We can be fashionable writers, artistic programmers AND be awesome in different and limitless roles that we play in life.

The day every woman steps out of the box, crumble these fallacies and do things and everything that they ever wanted to do in life, in their own way, the world will know the power of a woman.
That will be the beginning of a new era. The era where people will say, “Once upon a time women were considered the weaker sex”

“This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.

By- Sweety Pateliya